But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
