like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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