She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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