So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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