We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
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