he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
