Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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