Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
