What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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