Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
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