lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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