you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
No subtext here. People are naked.
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
