Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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