I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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