I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
