My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize
