I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
