dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
He asked me "did you used to go to church" while we were having sex.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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