life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
how does that bad decision feel?
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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