She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
