I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
It all started with a game of naked twister.
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