I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
