Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
he thought i was a dude.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
Randomize
