I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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