Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
