Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Sorry about waking up naked in your bed this morning.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
