dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
wanna go halves on a baby?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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