I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
Randomize
