yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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