question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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