The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I just gift wrapped bread.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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