Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I can't turn off my feet"
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
The ass gains better be worth it
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