I'm either watching Fifth Element or Hotel Rwanda. There's black people and white people and high life tall boy 18 packs are $11.99 so I could be watching my own hand. I have no idea.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize
