I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
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