My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
