U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Randomize
