I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Randomize
