Tbell employee was shuffling through my bag, calling off each item i ordered to make sure it was all there. I stopped him halfway through with "guy, don't worry, I'm high as shit, I'll eat anything."
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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