carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize