I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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