May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I was not drunk enough for that final.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
