i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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