I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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