wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
