Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
My 7 yo sister is trying to talk my mom into buying her a strawberry margarita. Happy Cinco de Mayo.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
