Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Randomize
