Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
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found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
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he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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