I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
