GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
