is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
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I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
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But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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