This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
