I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Randomize
