What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
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