Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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