Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
and she was petting her beer can
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
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