you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
