I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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