That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Randomize
