Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
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