im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
