I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Randomize
