seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
How's work?
Spinning.
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
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