are you so shy because you have an std?
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I smell like thanksgiving dinner and bad decisions. Its not even thanksgiving yet.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
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