Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
Randomize
