what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
I can only masturbate in one position. It's very inconvenient.
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?