youre lurking in front of me
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
We tried to break her futon, I crushed my balls instead. You have one less reason to be jealous that my balls are insanely huge and yours are not.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.