You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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