I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
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